Learn the most powerful thing you can do to connect successfully with your potential clients, patrons, buyers…fearlessly. What got you though the door.. won’t get you the gig.
What got you through the door, won’t get you the gig.
Dalia has a great product, is always presentable and knows her facts inside and out. She goes to networking events regularly to meetup with a tight group of friends and she has a good time. Shes’ created great marketing material and a streamlined sales process. Dalia knows that when her time comes, when she meets the right people. She’ll be ready. But she hasn’t met the ‘right’ people yet and her business is stalled. She’s showing up for events. When is it going to happen for her?
Dalia is waiting to be discovered. Are you?
When you walk into a room of friends and loved ones, how tall to you stand? How alert are you to people in the room, how friendly are you?
How was that different than the last time you walked into a room of potential clients, patrons, or buyers sprinkled with a few ‘perceived competitors’? Do you stand tall or stand back? Reach out or become invisible? Do you feel empowered or disempowered? How do you perceive powerful people?
How would you define ‘power’. Does it smack of negativity for you? Is someone with power a bully, an oppressor, ‘have the upper hand’ or do you see it as a positive thing? Something that enables confidence and a certain ‘sureness’?
The kicker here is that your sense of power is yours alone. It’s neither positive or negative. You pre-determine how you will use it by how you feel about it.
How do you think Dalia felt about power?
How do you feel about it. If you felt powerful or empowered how would you use it to show up differently at the event with potential clients? Owning your power determines if you walk into a room ready to ‘play ball’ or you’ve decided ahead of time to ‘sit this one out’ . Are you still waiting to be discovered? Hoping that someone will give you a break?
Okay, Okay. Guilty as charged. What do I do now?
The first step is a mere hint of a willingness to claim your power. It is a willingness to show up as your very best self and allow your passion for what you do and you’re delight in what you have to offer the world carry you to connect with others and learn about what they are passionate about. It’s a belief that you are equal in every respect to everyone else in the room (because this is the truth) So often we approach events with this logic: the more important the event feels to us, the more anxious we get and completely forget who we are and what we truly are about. We walk in,not as ourselves, but instead with the facade of who we think we ‘should’ be. If we maintain this (and far too many do) we wind up walking into the most important meetings of our lives ‘pretending’ to be someone we are not. As good a recipe for regret and missed opportunities as I’ve ever seen. Yet far too many of us do it, and continue to to it even when we regret it and beat ourselves up afterward.
Why does this persist?
Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of looking like a loser. Fear of feeling stupid or of not being good enough.. fear of ______ (you fill in the blank). When fear is in charge, we give our power away to whom ever we have deemed the decision maker in the room to determine for us our worth.
Not ‘when will it be my turn’ but ‘how do I make it my turn? ‘
Whoa! ”But I don’t have the confidence for that” you say. ”That’s why I’m coming to you to help me be more fearless.” I get that, and in the challenge below you’ll find an exercise that will help you do just that. The truth is that claiming your power, claiming your equality with everyone else in the room, are the first best steps to building the confidence you seek.
Take the Challenge:
Be willing to ‘own’ your power Define the word power. (not the dictionary’s version or your best friends answer, do this one on your own). _______________________________________________
Does your definition encourage you?
If it feels discouraging or negative, be aware that if our unconscious definition of power brings up negative feelings, it goes along way toward explaining why we have a hard time owning our own power and putting it into action in our lives.
If there is negativity, I invite you to re-define the word ‘power’ until it brings up a sense of integrity and becomes something you feel you can own. Good Job!
Bridge Club Members: Login in before the end of the month to get additional integration exercises and bonus material.
Fear less, Live More,
(P.S. If you’ve just breezed though this article but you are truly serious of becoming more fearless in your business and eliminating chaos I invite you to grab a paper and pen and go back through this article again. This time through, however, stop at every question and answer it fully and wholeheartedly for yourself. If you take it just 5 or 10 minutes at a time, you’ll be doing serious work in moving toward a more effective and fully lived life each day. )
(P.P.S If you’re not the ‘self’-study’ kind of person and like more interaction consider joining the Bridge Club to participate in a lively discussion on fearless living principles and integrating them into your life today, their integration lead personally by me and receive solid ‘feedforward support on the work you’re personally doing twice a month.
